It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
