so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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