Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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