Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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