Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
