The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
