youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
