p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
