but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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