Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
