I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
