Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
