she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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