is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize