Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
