I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
