you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
