id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I wish there were birth control emojis
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize