that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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