I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
