i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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