true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
