I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
All I want is dick and wine.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
