Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
