Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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