watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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