He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
