do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
