i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
