It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
