Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your cock deserves a montage
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Everclear isn't food dammit
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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