He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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