Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
