those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
