shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
