And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
