when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
