I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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