Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
