Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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