you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
