I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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