I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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