he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
