Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night

Fav 11 3885 1274
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night

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(609): View more from New Jersey

why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

Fav 19 778 2011
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(716): View more from New York

i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.

Fav 9 3900 1006
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(650): View more from California

I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"

Fav 9 1969 1079
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(905): View more from Ontario

She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom

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