...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
