This is not my ceiling
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
