p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
