It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so let's talk penis.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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