I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
