My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
