Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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