After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
