He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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