hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize