My room smells like vodka and shame
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
