Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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