I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize