The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
